You're What!
by Andrea Churchill
Summary: At the end of 'Stop Team Go', when Barkin gives Shego a home visit. What if she didn't send out the dogs? One shot. Comments, please!


You're What? by Andrea Churchill

_At the end of 'Stop Team Go', when Barkin gives Shego a home visit. What if she didn't send out the dogs? One shot. Comments, please! =)_

...

Dr. Drakken and Shego were simply lounging in front of the giant monitor screen, minding each other's business. They always seemed to do that-sit there in the same room, hardly say a word to each other, but it wasn't awkward, nor was it completely comfortable. They just seemed to do their own thing, keeping notice that the other was in the room, and when they did speak, it was in a manner of casualty and sometimes annoyance. They lived together like an 'evil family', Drakken once claimed it to be.

Dr. Drakken was satisfied, eating pickles out of a jar he spent his entire _day _trying to open. He was content, now, to _finally _enjoy the gherkins. He almost looked at each of them as if to say 'Ha! You thought I couldn't defeat you, but look who's eating who _now_!'

Shego was filing her nails, something she did a lot of, usually to pass the time when bored. It was a good thing to do, because Shego always had to be in tip top shape when fighting-if her nails, or should they be called claws, were dull in any way, they couldn't do the damage she expected them to do, and that would certainly be embarrassing if she could not slash someone or something with enough efficiency to cause pain or damage.

The sound of Drakken munching pickles and Shego filing her 'claws' over the dead silence was soon interrupted with a startling, unexpected loud alarm beeping fast, and a red light spinning round and round to coincide with it. Shego gasped. Drakken looked concerned.

"Stevie? What's _he _doing here?" Shego said in bewilderment, looking at the large monitor. It showed a live video of Steve Barkin at the lair's door, wearing his usual brown suit and holding a bouquet of purple flowers. Shego was a little surprised as to her calling the man 'Stevie' instead of Steve. It was strangely unnerving, like seeing the strip of photos of Kim Possible and her posing as friends, having a good time...

But Shego had been turned good, forced by Electronique, during that photo shoot and when she had a liking for Steven Barkin. And yet, when she saw him at that door, she kind of felt something, coming out in her single word, 'Stevie'.

Drakken almost looked offended. "Ohh, _Stevie_ is it? Well he's _intruding_, that's what he's doing!" Dr. Drakken moved his hand to push a button to release the guard dogs on him. Dr. D smiled at the thought of Shego's 'Stevie' being ripped apart by Rottweilers, but Shego stopped his hand.

"No, no!" she cried, making him stop in shock. "Wait, wait..." Shego watched to see what _exactly _Steve Barkin was going to _do_.

On the monitor, the two villains watched as he put the bouquet down gently, sat on the floor, took out some kind of banjo or mandolin, and began to sing:

"_Quit playing games with my head! I'm a sport but I'm not a tooooyyy!" _his singing was terrible. But watching him gave Shego some amusement. Drakken just looked peeved. Who was this man? And why was he _here_? Drakken tolerated any of Shego's boyfriends, as long as they didn't come _to the lair_. He had no interest in seeing Shego unprofessionally _flirting_ or doing whatnot with _anyone_. "Aren't you going to let out the dogs? Set the electrical switch and fry him?" Drakken asked, as Shego continued to watch him.

"_Let's not analyze what I said! I don't want to be a complex boyyyy!"_

Shego didn't answer. She just pressed a button. Not the button to release the dogs and fry him to nothing, but the button to the main entrance to where he stood. It opened, and he entered.

Steve Barkin, holding his flowers and his instrument, walked inside the lair. He looked up and around in amazement. 'Wow' he thought, 'Some home she has'. Not knowing, of course, that Shego's _home _was actually, in better terms a _lair_.

When Kim and Ron had a double date with Shego and Steve, Kim warned Shego not to tell her date about her being evil. Shego never did. And now, Stevie was in the lair of her boss, and now that Shego was evil again, there was no escaping in telling him the truth.

"Helllooo? Shego?" he called. She met him, entering the hallway he was slowly waltzing through.

"Here." she called. Shego approached him. As she entered the light, he saw her usual appearance for the first time. Her black hair wasn't pinned back in a ponytail or in a headband anymore. It was long, flowing, thick, and silky. Her face was still the same, but slightly different...very slightly. Her aura changed a bit, it didn't seem usual for the Shego Steve Barkin knew. And her outfit-Shego wore this strange, but very tight-fitted jumpsuit. It had an odd pattern of black and light green. Though the pattern was different, Shego actually looked pretty..._sexy_ in it.

"Hi..." was all he could really say. Why was she even _wearing _that? He thought it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"So...what's with the suit?"

Shego sighed. "Stevie...there's something I need to tell you."

'Stevie' gulped. _'That's never good.' _he thought.

"Okay, um, I think I should start from the beginning. When I was little, me and my brothers were hit by a comet and we all got superpowers. We soon became superheroes in Go City, where I grew up, but later in life I switched over to the bad side and became a villain. I signed on to work for a man who wants to take over the world, and with him I became arch enemies with Kim Possible, our rival. But back in the day, when I was a hero, I fought some villains alongside my brothers...one being a woman named Electronique. She escaped out of prison a while ago, and created this weapon in which she used on me and my brothers after luring us together. The weapon she used was to turn us from superheroes to her evil henchmen, but she was in prison when _I _turned evil, and so she didn't know and accidentally turned my brothers evil and _me _good...I tried hiding from my now evil brothers in Middleton and got a job at Middleton High as a teacher for the time being..."

Steve stopped her. "Um, wait so...if I understand this right, you used to be a superhero, turned into a villain and is the arch nemesis of one of my pupils, got turned good again by one of your foes, then...I'm guessing everything's back to normal and your back to being evil?"

"Um...yeah, I think that just about covers it."

"Hmm...I thought you looked familiar like this."

Shego smiled. "Seen me on the news before, haven't you?"

Steve Barkin nod his head hesitantly. "_Aaannndd_..."

"Seen me fight Kimmie before too?"

"Um...Kimmie?"

"Sure, I call her that. It's a bit of a pet name, to tease her."

"_Riiiight_...so...when we...you know...dated, I was dating the turned-good version of you?"

"Yup."

"But...now you're not good."

"Yup."

"_Hrm_. I see..." Steve scratched his head awkwardly.

"C'mon, why don't you meet Dr. D?"

"Dr...D?"

"Yeah, my boss."

Shego took Steve's wrist and led him back to where Dr. Drakken had been sitting, eating his pickles. Except he wasn't there anymore.

"Hmm, I don't know where he went. You know, I could always show you around."

Steve slowly slid his hand out of Shego's grip.

"_Yeeaaahhhhh..." _Steve let out. "Shego, I don't know about this. I'd be dating a criminal."

Shego narrowed her eyes. Not in anger, but in disbelief.

"So?"

"_Soo_...I just...I don't know if I can deal with that kind of thing."

Steve Barkin looked around Shego's home. Now, seeing all the chrome, and the giant computer monitors, and the morbid furniture, and the _weapons_, he now came to realize how it was much more of a _lair_ than it was a _home_.

Shego narrowed her eyes. This time, it was in anger.

"Oh you _can't, _can you?" she yelled. Steve backed up a bit.

'_Maaaaayybbeee breaking up with a villain wasn't the best idea...' _he thought.

Dr. Drakken, unseen by the two, was watching the whole thing. Seeing his sidekick get crushed like she was made him extremely uncomfortable, for some reason. Despite all the times Shego had slashed him, and hurt him, and mocked him, he still thought of her as his 'evil family' and in a way _cared _for her. He didn't like seeing her get emotionally broken like this. He didn't like it at _all._

Shego's hands lit up. Steve Barkin widened his eyes. He had never seen _this _side of Shego before.

Drakken craved popcorn. It was getting too good. He couldn't _wait _to see Shego's precious _Stevie _get fried.

Steve backed up. Shego was enraging, and advancing towards him. Her hands were glowing more than ever. Steve backed up more and more, and eventually, began running. He headed back for the lair's entrance. Shego shot at him twice with her rays, hitting him the second time. Steve Barkin yelped, but continued running, and got away. Shego soon heard the lair's entrance slam shut.

Shego's hands extinguished, and she fell to her knees, bowing her head in remorse. Drakken came out from hiding and ran to her. He came to her side, cautiously. There was a slight pause between them.

"How...how much did you hear?" Shego murmured.

"Everything..."

Shego huffed. "Figures."

"Shego..." Dr. Drakken tried, but Shego soon shushed him.

"Just...don't. I-"

"Shego, he doesn't deserve you." Drakken interrupted.

Shego looked at him like a brick had just fallen on his head. "What?" she asked.

"He doesn't. Who cares if you're a villain? That doesn't mean that you're not a great person."

Shego didn't even hear her boss. Her ears gave out after the whole 'he doesn't deserve you' deal. Suddenly, the whole moment between them seemed awkward.

"Um...I'm going up to my room for the rest of the night if that's okay, Dr. D." Shego murmured. Drakken thought he heard her sniffle.

"Er...okay, Shego. You know, if you need anything..."

"I'm fine."

Drakken looked as his sidekick, as the other half of his 'evil family' walked away. The one thing that seemed to float in his simple, naive mind was _'Was it something I said?'. _Shego, who couldn't believe how stupid she was to let Kimmie's teacher into Drakken's lair, thinking that _maybe_, just _maybe _this once a guy like him would accept the reality of a girl like her. Shego sighed, thinking that maybe she should narrow down her relationship choices with other villains, that way the guy would know what kind of world he was getting himself into. But, all villains were either pathetic, or ugly, or just plain weird...

All but one...sort of.

Shego shrugged off the thoughts of Steve Barkin like she did with all other guys. The only thing left to do for the night was read the newest issue of _Villain Magazine_. Maybe she and Drakken made another article this time...


End file.
